I recently shared a glimpse into my life in 2018 and why I decided to begin offering independent career coaching services to students and young professionals. But there was more to that story that I couldn’t fit in that blog post. There was a big FAILURE in there.
I shared that I arrived in the United Kingdom on January 25, 2018, and that I am not very good at sitting still. All of that is true, but there is more. While I was sitting in our Air BnB waiting for our household goods to arrive, I spent a good amount of time perusing the internet. I also shared last week that I’m a bit of a work-oholic. I bet you can’t guess what I spent a good amount of that browsing time looking at…that’s right…jobs. I had officially been out of work for about six weeks and despite having the holidays and an international move in the mix, it was a few weeks too long. That’s when I found a job opening at a local university that seemed to match my experience and my interests PERFECTLY.
What?!?! Was this too good to be true? Even better, I had a conversation at the local CrossFit gym and got connected to someone at the university who worked in that division. That contact graciously scheduled a meeting for me with the hiring manager and we had a great conversation during which she excitedly asked me to apply for the job. The stars seemed to be aligning! Then, just eight days after I arrived in a new country, I had a job interview and it felt so good.
BUT, the title of this blog post begins with FAILURE. That’s right, I didn’t get the job. Despite getting some great feedback when the hiring manager called to give me the news, I couldn’t help but be a little crushed. What had gone wrong? (I’ll tell what, but you have to keep reading!)
Self-confidence isn’t something that I typically struggle with; however, with all that was going on in my life at that point, I started to let this perceived failure get to me. It was a brutal winter and the days were short, so I used that as an excuse to just hang out inside most of the day with my cat. I finally realized one day that I was being totally pathetic when I clicked on a “Growth Mindset” Ted Talk by Carol Dweck that appeared in my newsfeed. Oh my goodness, I wasn’t just living in a fixed mindset, I was DWELLING there. This was not me and I was not proud of what I was allowing to go on in my life. I snagged her book via Amazon UK and read that whole thing as quickly as I could. I started to invest in myself and realized that this professional downtime was actually the PERFECT time to continue growing professionally by reading and studying. I found a free day of amazing lectures and workshops at the University of Cambridge and immersed myself in a day expanding my knowledge on a variety of topics. One of those was coaching. *Ding, ding, ding!
About two weeks later, my former supervisor and amazing mentor emailed me wanting to discuss an idea he had that later turned into my first consulting contract. A month later, Loren Kelly Coaching & Consulting was born! HOORAY!
University of Cambridge Open Day 2018
So why am I sharing this story?
Because every failure leads to a learning opportunity and, many times, they also lead to something better than you thought you wanted in the first place.
Here are three things I learned from this failure:
- Cultural differences are a real thing! Just because I spoke the same language did not mean I understood the culture. American and British cultures are different. I had no idea how different when I went to that interview and it was very evident to me a few months later why I didn’t get that job. I was too direct and one of my answers was probably considered insensitive. Let’s just say my ideas of diversity have broadened and I am better for it!
- Patience is important! I’m an American through and through and I like instant gratification. I was bored and I wanted a job right then to occupy my time. I should have just been patient and enjoyed that season! Because I didn’t get that job, my husband and I were able to travel and experience four different European cultures before he began work that April.
- My plan isn’t always best. Like I’ve done so many times, I tried to take matters into my own hands and my plan for myself wasn’t half as great as the one God had for me in this season of my life. I am so much happier and fulfilled by what I am doing now than I ever would have been at the job that I thought I wanted.
And the BEST part of the story, I attended a workshop locally last week and guess what? The hiring manager was there. I saw her and gave a friendly wave and smile from across the room. I knew I had two options: I could allow feelings of rejection and failure to creep in or I could confidently stand up when it was my turn and introduce myself and what I do with confidence. I chose the latter and it felt great. The two of us had a great conversation after the training and it was wonderful to reconnect!
So, my challenge for you today, is there a perceived failure that recently happened that you need to reframe? For students and recent graduates who are just beginning, you are going to fail. And, if you are lucky, you’ll fail many times, because those are the moments where you’ll learn and grow the most in your career.
I am a passionate Career Coach and Career Educator dedicated to the professional development and success of students! How can I help you (or a student in your life) achieve career goals? To learn more about me, visit my website at www.lorenkellycoaching.com. Don’t miss the opportunity to receive free tips and training opportunities by joining my email list!