Would you like to help your child plan for the future? Have you ever thought…
“I wish he would think this through more thoroughly.”
We live in possibly the most quaint, English country-side village called Woodhall Spa and this is one of my favorite outdoor work spots. I was sitting outside on the patio on Monday having lunch and working on an upcoming presentation when I couldn’t help but hear a chat between two British mums.
One mother began explaining that her son is currently at university and isn’t enjoying it.
“He wants to quit university and enter the military. Of course, I’ve given him my opinion; but, in the end, I just want him to be happy. I wish he would think this through more thoroughly though. Two more years and he would be done with his degree!”
When she said this, memories of conversations I had with my mother regarding my little brother seven years prior came flooding back (read this story here). Parents are willing to be flexible, but you just want to know that the child has really thought through his/her options and has a PLAN. And, rightfully so! A plan is so important!
If you can relate with the parent above, help your child plan with these questions!
Here are a few questions you can ask that will help your child plan for the future. Taking this approach will keep him/her receptive and help him/her think through the future in more depth.
- That is interesting! What events have led to you considering this option?
- What do you see being the big benefits of this path?
- What are your reservations at this point?
- What do you think your next step is with regards to making sure this path is right for you?
- Above all, your happiness and success is desire. How can I help you with this?
As you have this conversation, just listen first. Perhaps he/she has thought this through more thoroughly than you had originally thought! If not, these questions will help jump-start that process. As he/she is speaking, just listen and be present. If at any point in the conversation you feel as though there is more that your child isn’t sharing, the question, “What else?” is a great probing question to help them think it through more thoroughly!
Something to keep in mind…
Adolescents don’t always have the most efficient thought process, but I’ve found that most have pretty good intuition when it comes to knowing what will bring them fulfillment long-term. And, I absolutely know that success rates are substantially higher when students and young adults take ownership of their future and make decisions for themselves. I believe the key for adults in their lives is not to advise their future, but to support. And, if we support them well, the doors will eventually open for us to provide help and opinions.
How can I help?
If you believe a child in your life could benefit from some thoughtful planning, often times an unbiased third-party can be a powerful tool! As an experienced educator and career coach, I sit down with students one-on-one, meet them where they are, and assist them as they articulate their goals and develop a plan to achieve them!